Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole? Paul writes in Galations that “I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose.” Here Paul is stating that justification is through faith and that we cannot earn our righteousness by following the law. But what if I don’t look righteous? When I google righteous this is what comes up, which feels weird:
When I imagine a righteous person I like to think that they are meek, gentle, slow to speak, that they comport themselves with a general dignity befitting such a holy person. They would not, for example, tell a long anecdote about Michelle Duggar’s knees at Bible Study. What might they do instead? I would expect them to share some piece of knowledge gleaned from an obscure minor prophet that I didn’t even realize was a book of the Bible.
This is the delusion I fight against almost all the time. That righteous people have one foot inside a monastery and no feet in the “being ridiculous” arena. But the truth is that when I professed my faith in Christ that His righteousness became my own. And that His sacrifice covers all my sins past, present, and future. I need to trust that the Holy Spirit will lead my heart in sanctification and repentance. One could be surprised to know that I spend a good amount of time each week reading the word and assorted theological books.
It’s not that much but for having three children proportionately it is a decent amount of time. But when I open my mouth to speak, nothing eloquent comes out. This is where I recall that Moses had a debilitating stutter and God appointed his brother Aaron to publicly speak for him. Maybe Siri could be my Aaron. I have not a debilitating speech impediment to get around, but debilitating awkwardness. Excuse me, I digress. 1 Corinthians says:
“But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.”
And this is where I wonder to myself, at the feast of heaven, will there be a rodeo clown? Does Jesus need a body part akin to a humorous gag wig? He made me and he loves me. He loved Nathaniel and called him right after Nathaniel threw some major shade at Jesus under a fig tree.
Maybe there will be jokes in heaven. Everyone really loves laughing. I will remind myself that God’s creation is diverse and wonderful and that he loves monastery people just as much as he loves people who are quirky and awkward.
PS This is a ringing endorsement for the book “This is Awkward” by Sammy Rhodes. It’s like if I wrote a book, but a lot better.