i’m a grown up and i ain’t afraid of no ghost.

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October and I have a tenuous relationship.  Because October is AUTUMN and pumpkins and scarves. But October is also ghoulish Halloween decorations and horror movie trailers on television.  Anne (of Green Gables and later of the House of Dreams) would have been appalled, no matter how much she loved October.  In retrospect this might not be true, because remember how much she hung out in that graveyard in college?

“I don’t know that a graveyard is a very good place to go to get cheered up, but it seems the only get-at-able place where there are trees, and trees I must have. I’ll sit on one of those old slabs and shut my eyes and imagine I’m in the Avonlea woods.”

Anne, that’s creepy.  But I was telling you about October!  In October, my children scare me at night.  My husband is forever jumping out at me from behind doorways and darkened rooms.  Every time I scream.  For every time I don’t, I at least drop a profanity and try to punch him (in self defense).  The rambling point I am making here is that I am easily spooked.  So when I’m on red october alert for goblins- my kids stalking me at night gets scary.

I get scared when Owen stands by my bed, his face inches from mine, and wakes me from a dead sleep.  “AHHH!” I yell.  “What do you need???”  And he replies “I had a bad dream” and I think to myself,  probably your mom screaming in your face didn’t help you to be less scared huh?

I mean, look at these pumpkin faces Owen created.  They are SO FRIENDLY.  Owen comes by his fear honestly.  And I like that he’s into happy pumpkin faces.

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But mostly I get scared of Maisy Jo, for just like her father she is light on her feet and appears silently.  The pale features that make her such a stand out during the day make her appear to be a straight up ghoul at night.  The wispy blonde hair, the large eyes, the skin so alabaster it has an other worldly glow.  Like, I get it.  You have to pee.  But it’s 2 am and could you just rustle your pj’s a lil and give a person a heads up?

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SpOOOOOoooOoooky!

So October- you can take your scary movies, your giant cackling skeletons, and your haunted houses and you can just keep them ok?  Come trick or treat at my scare free house.  I have a “Give Thanks” sign and just so many mini pumpkins.

Now enjoy this scene from New Girl of Nick Miller in a haunted house, who is me and who I think is all of us:

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