Well, I just got sucked into a black hole of hipness. One Instagram picture led to another and suddenly I wondered why I wasn’t the kind of person who could get 216 likes on a picture of a potted succulent.
Why am I not hip? How do some people become hip and others don’t? I will list here some reasons that I don’t think I’m hip:
-Hip people are generally sincere about their likes and dislikes. That sincerity translates into confidence. And so it is with confidence that they purchase and wear a fedora.
-I am lazy and finding hip restaurants takes research and effort and time I’d rather be using to watch “Lakefront Bargain Hunt.”
-I could pick up a book. Hip people have used book store memberships. And read poetry. They’re not into reformed theology or HGTV magazine.
-Trendsetting is not my thing. Let something get good and established before I go after it. Oh hello UGG boots that I just got!
– I’ve never thought: “I should buy those overalls.”
-I’ve also never thought “What’s a good hashtag for my juice cleanse.”
If I tried to Instagram a picture of tiny hearts, people would view it as a cry for help. I need to accept my glaring banality and celebrate it!
I’m a card carrying member of the struggle bus. But maybe I should get a succulent, just to see how the other half is living. Will I think outside the box the closer I get to my succulent? Will I start thinking in Toad and the Wet Sprocket lyrics?? What if I not only get one succulent, but build an entire pallet wall of succulents?? Think of how hip that would be.
I think I could have been hip, I was just plopped down in the wrong era. I mean, liking manatees in middle school would probably be so ironic it would be cool now. But alas, I was not. So I will stay the non cold press coffee drinker that I am and remain forever faithful to my Keurig.