Prom season is upon us.  I see the pictures.  I see the dresses in the department stores.  I don’t hate it.

 I got to go to prom with my now husband.  We weren’t married back then because, you know, we were 17.  If you had told high school senior Kaley that she would be married to her prom date I would have felt much the same way if you had told me Fall Out Boy would still be topping the charts when I’m 30.  Bewildered but also excited for them.

I looked flawless at prom.  I dazzled in a hot pink gown with a bedazzled choker and tastefully placed hair gems.  Upon my entrance into prom- the other seniors jealously whispered, “Where did Kaley score that magenta ombre pashmina??” The answer?  Macy’s.  That was before ombre was even a thing- okay millennials?!

Nick and I were voted prom king and queen and then we went to a raging party and it was the time of our LIVES.

Oh wait, I’m sorry, that’s the movie “She’s All That.”  Actually what happened is we sang Journey really loudly and afterwards we read the bible.  Okay, that’s not entirely true either.  We made out- you got me officer! I’m only human!  Nick was very handsome and he drove his mom’s Kia.  I’m excited that Nick got to go to my prom because I’m pretty sure everyone at school thought I was making him up.  Nick and I went to different local high schools.  Here’s why they thought I might be making up an attractive blonde boyfriend.  They remembered this:


Not exactly something one can unsee.  Yeesh.  My mom really loved me and I had a journal- so I made it out okay.

To anyone who has seen my Beyonce level lemonade dance moves, it may surprise you to know that I didn’t know how fun I could dance until prom.  I really let loose.

Songs I may have gotten down to at my 2003 prom experience:

  • Right Thurr- Chingy
  • Miss Independent- Kelly Clarkson
  • Rock Your Body- Justin Timberlake
  • In Those Jeans- Ginuwine
  • Where Is The Love- Black Eyed Peas
  • Move Bitch- Ludacris feat Mystikal
  • Whenever, Wherever- Shakira

Songs I may have gotten my slow jam on with at prom 2003:

  • Wherever You Will Go- Calling
  • Gone- ‘NSYNC
  • Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
  • Calling All Angels- Train
  • Your Body Is A Wonderland- John Mayer (EW!)*
  • Don’t Know Why- Norah Jones
  • Thugz Mansion- 2Pac

If I had to pick a best memory from prom it would be listening to the crowd chant my brother’s name- “MarSHALL, MaaarSHHHHALL, MARSHALL!”  My brother.  Who had graduated the year before.  Was killing it on the dance floor.  When they saw me they did this:


I DO GO HERE GUYS!  I’ve known you all since kindergarten!  Wish you would stop drinking that haterade for breakfast.  Pshhh.

I had to work months at the farm supply store to finance my prom dress*, prom jewels, hair do, shoes, pashmina*, and limo rental.  Months of toiling away selling fertilizer and horse food and raccoon traps.  All I can say is, hashtag worth it.

*I do really like John Mayer now.  But that song?  Gross

**Okay, my mom probably bought those



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