What’s the opposite of a germaphobe? Is it Pig Pen from Charlie Brown? Nope! It’s me!
I pretty much never think about bacteria or microbes or germs or scabies or whatever it is you germaphobes talk about. Let’s just say… The idea of carpet in a bathroom kind of appeals to me- #moldbedamned!
And so what I am really getting at here, is that I love stuffed animals- and the idea that they could be germ hostels is of no consequence to me. 🎶give it to me baby I’m worth it🎶
How much do I love stuffed animals? Hmmm, well, enough to keep ALL of my childhood stuffed animals and give them to Owen and Maisy and Henry and also buy them MORE stuffed animals because stuffed animals are cute and cuddly.
You’re judging me aren’t you? I can tell. Well- at least I’m not a doll person, okay?!
Occasions appropriate to receive stuffed animals include, but are not limited to:
- Major holidays
- Minor holidays
- Doctors appointments
- Just because we saw a stuffed animal
- Because they like that show now
- It’s. So. Cute.
- It’s your birthday
- It’s their birthday and I don’t want you to feel shafted
- It’s my birthday and I can do what I want
- To reach the free shipping quota on Amazon
Before I ever went out with my aunt or grandmother, my mom would expressly forbid them to purchase me an animal. “No more!” She said. “What kind of monster have I created??” She wondered. “Rejoice!” She said when I was finally asked on a date. And “It’s not my problem anymore” when I boxed up way too many stuffed animals to bring to college.
How many Meeko’s is appropriate for an adult woman to own? If the answer is 3, then I’m doin’ allllright.
Owen has turned into a fellow hoarder. Why? Probably because he has a fantastic personality just like his mother- whimsy and fun! When we go through stuffed animals to give away- he simply can not part. I also can not part. And so that’s how I envision my slow decline into 15 minutes of A&E fame- and intervention to get rid some my fur babies.
“Kaley, think of all the nice things you can get if you just give away ONE of these Meeko stuffed animals.”