Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?  Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?”

If you are feeling this way it is quite possible that you have just endured a family quarantine.  No one likes to quarantine themselves.  That’s why the zombie apocalypse happens so rapidly.

Ted “I feel fine, I don’t think it’s contagious.  I’ll just run out for milk!”

And just like that everybody’s dead. (I interned with the CDA so I know a lot about epidemiology.)

When you have many children, contagious barf diseases can last many moons.  And just when you think everyone is fine- the next one barfs.  Our latest encounter with the norovirus took our entire family off the grid for 7 days.

So?  Why does the flu make you feel so sad like a Harris Teeter bag in an empty parking lot?  It’s because no one can come over or they will die too.  You’re sick.  You’re a martyr for the greater good.  And you are lonely.  And you watched a Janette Oke mini series on Netflix in between trips to the washing machine.  Your eyes are sunken in, their twinkle gone.  The trash didn’t get taken out and you can’t find your car keys.  You fell asleep on the couch at 1 am while watching Sofia the First and spoon feeding pedialyte ice chips to a 2 year old.  What day is it?

babies in my family go in a pack and play covered in towels, affectionately nicknamed “the barf palace”


Enduring a germ lock down is not unlike being marooned on a desert island.  If friends come by with supplies they simply slow down the car and throw saltines in your front yard while shouting “I’m so glad it’s not me!”

And alas, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Sure the tunnel was long and it’s filled with puke, but there is a way out.  If your family comes down with a pestilence, then you can call me.  Softly I will sing to you “If you only knew, what the future holds, after the hurricane, comes a rainbow.”

source
source.

Baby.  You’re a firework.

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