I want to talk about my sugar addiction.  I want to talk about it in a way that doesn’t make fit people uncomfortable, but I can’t make any promises.  

My sugar addiction is just south, and we’re talking barely, of snorting it and rubbing on my gums.  (You know, like cocaine). I might start a hard candy meth lab in my garage.  I. Love. Sugar.  

When I die it will say “Kaley’s gravestone, sponsored by Coca-Cola.”

Sugar is so tasty.  I love it in tea, in coffee, in candy, in fruit, in baked goods, in sauces, in my veins and on my butt.  Recently I was chatting with a fellow female.  She’s “always cold.” Gross.  I am never cold.  I conjecture this is has to do with my inevitable pre diabetes diagnosis.  (Kaley, you can’t just make diabetes jokes.  I can.  And I did.)  My body is simply working too hard to burn the sugar off,  so I sweat. 

I realize that as a 30 year old person I should maybe be monitoring my sugar intake a lil more.  A scotch.  A tad.  This month I decided to stop getting candy anytime I see candy.  This didn’t stop me from eating four donuts yesterday.  Eventually I will weed out all delicious foods from my life and wonder how I used to stomach eating so much junk food.  

I know it’s bad for me, I really do.  But here’s me trying to cut sugar out: 

I will start using agave nectar in my green tea- or worse- drink it with no sweetener! 😱. I’ll eat one cookie a day. 😭I will not be on a first name basis with the dunkin donuts drive thru lady.  Happy Birthday Linda!  I’ll just, like, eat vegetables. Hey guy!  This celery is delicious!  And no I do not work for The Celery Farmers of America.  

I’m done with you sugar!  Next time you see a selfie of me it’ll be way less Squishy and WAY more boney.  If you don’t see a selfie of me for the next five years you’ll know.  She didn’t beat it.  Sugar won.  


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