I want to talk about my sugar addiction. I want to talk about it in a way that doesn’t make fit people uncomfortable, but I can’t make any promises.
My sugar addiction is just south, and we’re talking barely, of snorting it and rubbing on my gums. (You know, like cocaine). I might start a hard candy meth lab in my garage. I. Love. Sugar.
When I die it will say “Kaley’s gravestone, sponsored by Coca-Cola.”
Sugar is so tasty. I love it in tea, in coffee, in candy, in fruit, in baked goods, in sauces, in my veins and on my butt. Recently I was chatting with a fellow female. She’s “always cold.” Gross. I am never cold. I conjecture this is has to do with my inevitable pre diabetes diagnosis. (Kaley, you can’t just make diabetes jokes. I can. And I did.) My body is simply working too hard to burn the sugar off, so I sweat.
I realize that as a 30 year old person I should maybe be monitoring my sugar intake a lil more. A scotch. A tad. This month I decided to stop getting candy anytime I see candy. This didn’t stop me from eating four donuts yesterday. Eventually I will weed out all delicious foods from my life and wonder how I used to stomach eating so much junk food.
I know it’s bad for me, I really do. But here’s me trying to cut sugar out:
I will start using agave nectar in my green tea- or worse- drink it with no sweetener! 😱. I’ll eat one cookie a day. 😭I will not be on a first name basis with the dunkin donuts drive thru lady. Happy Birthday Linda! I’ll just, like, eat vegetables. Hey guy! This celery is delicious! And no I do not work for The Celery Farmers of America.
I’m done with you sugar! Next time you see a selfie of me it’ll be way less Squishy and WAY more boney. If you don’t see a selfie of me for the next five years you’ll know. She didn’t beat it. Sugar won.