Well, you asked and I answered. The question was “Will you please take disparaging selfies and post them on the internet.” My answer? “And how!”
Here’s my first selfie. The angle I’m trying to achieve is “Can you believe how dark the circles under my eyes are?” I occasionally think I have mascara running under them but it turns out they’ve just sunk in from parenting.
This one is a Wednesday Selfie. I have a lot to do on Wednesdays. I picked up a lil side job and pre-k is Wednesday and shiz gets really real. SO I took this hanging off the bed to reflect my tired despair.
When the Holy Spirit intercedes for me, does it ever suggest coffee?
This one. I was actually compelled to do a double take and gasp upon viewing my reflection. “Am I dead?” I wonder existentially. I had looked normal at the beginning of the day, but by the time I put the kids to bed I ended up looking like this. How did this even happen?? I look like I just got into a noogie fight at a sleepover.
I took this picture when all three of my children were crying in the NEX. (That’s the Navy Exchange for all you civilians) I felt homicidal… so I took a selfie to show all of you! You’re welcome. I call this “rage mask” and I’m thinking about making castes of my face to sell as Halloween decorations for haunted houses. Now that’s spooky!
Oh my gosh this. Right after I got back from taking them to the pool this summer. Magnificent. You know you go to the pool and then you leave the pool and you’re like “Wait, why’d I go to the pool? Dumb.”
And there you have it. Me. No filter. (Is that a pun?)