Things that are currently weighing me down, making me feel sad, mad, weird, or flaky:
- That I popped the tire on my car hitting a curb. Dumb!
- That I let the kids help me make the muffins for the meeting I was leading and I also had to double the recipe, so the muffins were gross. And also gross looking. Dammit!
- That I binge ate McNuggets on my way to supervising a meeting. Fat!
- That I gave a 10 minute soliloquy to a trapped audience of people about my dead cat, my she rest in peace forever, and ever, and ever, and I’ll never forget you Twinky cat. Bummed!
- That I have to get up early to get the tire fixed on my car… and it coincides with my weekly shower, so I have to get up extra early! Tired!
The past couple days I’ve been wondering to myself. How can I rest easy in Jesus in my weakness. Especially when my weakness is feeling especially conspicuous- like a guy who is trying out a man bun for the first time. Can he pull it off? Is it too much? I feel like you are born a man bun or not. Sure, you can’t just “get” a bun. You have to have the hair. But what if you had more of a Kid Rock vibe then decided you had a vintage bassoon vibe? What then??
That was called a man bun tangent. Which is, coincidentally, an excellent name for an Indy band. “I love how man bun tangent uses the acoustic flute.”
That was a man bun tangent tangent. Which also is the name of an indie band. J/k That’s Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr. #notajoke
Let me dissect for you why these little itty nonsense things are making me feel so deeply.
Essentially what each bullet boils down to is that I would like to be seen as a person who is real, but who can actually run their daily life without steering into…well.. a curb. I’d like to bake effortlessly, parent flawlessly, all while eating kale chips. Because ME! Me is a brand I can get behind. I’m great! I’m funny! I wear fashionable scarves!
Except when I’m not. Like when I’m baking terribly, driving erratically, and parenting mediocrely. Wife-ing worse and cleaning worser. So what? What can I do, where can I go from here? One option is buying this t-shirt:
Another option is this trite Bible Passage, that can be deeply comforting if you actually read it.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Okay yeah. Pray. Peace. Got it. But how???
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
I found myself, when prompted to reflect on honorable pure things, turning to Hebrews and of course, Jesus.
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
I know Jesus never Popped a tire on a curb. But he might have busted a sandal strap twisting his ankle on the road to Galilee. Or he might have tasted somebody else’s Passover bread which was leavened when it was supposed to un(claaassic peg). And I bet you he was very gracious about it. Like- “Martha did you let Mary make the bread? She forgot the leavening agent” then Martha is just like “😒” and Jesus is like “🙏✌️”
He never popped a tire, but he did live on earth, as a human, and lived this broken life just as I do. He gets it. He knows I’m a mess. He sees my brokenness, and he gives me the grace to bounce back and extricate myself from my pettiness. Thank you Jesus and Alleluia!