I’m roughly 30 years old, and for my birthday, my husband got me Taylor Swift concert tickets. And I fah-reaked out. Because Taylor Swift is everything and killing it and is super nice, bakes cookies, and has 2 cats named after female TV heroines. She’s got that red lip, classic thing that I like and Nick doesn’t mind the tight little skirt. So, I milked myself, left the kids with my parents, and met Nick in DC for the whitest white girling I had ever done.
To set the scene: In an arena of 45,000 people- 44,000 girls and about 1,000 men consisting of dads and/or boyfriends, husbands, bros being ironic, and gay best friends. Gazing out into the crowd one would see cat skirts, many crop tops, cat ears, red lips, and a few ballerina tutu’s. If people watching were a sport I would be going to the Olympics. “How old does a person have to be before I can cringe at their outfit?” I ask Nick. “18 or up” he replies. I see a mullet. He sees people with light up shirts. We listen to her first opening act, a small boy named Shawn Mendez. I wonder whether he was on Glee. Then comes Vance Joy. Nick likes him. He’s Australian. He’s handsome and engaging. Then came Haim.
Call it a case of the Monday’s but they harshed my T. Swift whimsy cat vibe. I caught a dad really rocking out to them, but upon discovering my scrutiny, he immediately clammed up. Too bad. He was a good dancer. Tay Tay didn’t go on until 9:45. But as twilight descended upon our nation’s capital, I began to be SUPER PUMPED.
Pre show everyone was gifted a futuristic wristband. See Below:
It was programmed to light up different colors and was synched with the music. Nick and I were in the first stadium section, but Taylor was still very small and far away. It’s a testament to her legginess that she was even visible. The wristbands really helped me feel like I was a part of the show.
I didn’t take many pictures because I was trying to “be present.” I did take a picture of “Sad Dad,” the dad who must’ve gotten coerced into going just to navigate the city parking. He didn’t crack a smile or move any extremities the entire show. Not even when Taylor donned a skin tight leather jump suit and wailed on the electric guitar. I’m pretty sure Nick turned into the heart eye emoji during that set.
You may have heard that Taylor has been having special guests throughout the tour. Nick and I discussed at length who we thought it would be. Since we were in our Nation’s capital, I hoped upon hope it wouldn’t be the President, or Michelle doing push ups, or one of their children. I mean, I’m all about learned men, but this was no place for them. This was a place for pop stars. “Not Malia Obama!! NOT HER!” It was not Malia Obama. It was Lorde.
And you’re not even going to believe it. But her guest the next night was Jason Derulo. I mean, and then I found that gif. Can you even?
One noteworthy moment was that Tay Tay got stuck on her magical rising stage because of the rain. She was forced to wax poetic on self esteem for around 15 minutes while the stage minions frantically scrambled to get her down. I think it’s good that she got to talk about friendship and self worth because Nick really needed to hear it. Sometimes when he doesn’t get a lot of likes on his Tumblr feed or someone throws shade at his new outfit, he can get really down in the dumps. Taylor is stuck in this weird place where she is killing it musically, everyone loves her, and she’s getting a little (dare I say it?) sexy, but hordes of 12 year olds are still coming to her concerts. So a self esteem talk it was.
Obviously, the concert was awesomely awesome. I danced and sang and almost dried up like a prune in the humidity. Side note about Taylor’s makeup. She was on an HD Megatron in oppressive humidity and still looked FLAWLESS. She’s just that pretty. And has really sweat resistant make up. My favorite performances were “Out of the Woods” “Style” and “Blank Space.” But they were all good. Oh, and when she said, “My name is Taylor Swift. And I was born in 1989!” WooOOooOOOooOOO. (That’s how the crowd responded)
So a big thanks to my boyfriend, Nick. He knows me well. And I got to have Thai food with him with no children before the concert and that was fun too.