I’ve noticed that my use of smoke and mirrors has worked, in my favor, to fool people into thinking that I might have my act together. For example, I may not have showered in 3 days, but I will have make up on. A person who has seen me with not a stitch of make up is a close friend indeed. I need make up. I need make up like I need air. I need make up like Joanie needs Chachi. I need it guys. I don’t want my face to look like a pie pan. My other fear is that I over do the make up so people are commenting out of shock. My goal is to hit somewhere in between a Kardashian and that scary clown from American Horror Story.
I can go a little heavy on the eye liner when I’m feeling fat.
Oh, and my hair. I abide by the old adage “The higher the hair, the closer to God.” But the reason my hair is blow dried is because I have psoriasis in my head. Gross right? Ewww.
So if I don’t blow dry it I itch worse than a lonely house wife with a coke habit. (That illustration could be spot on or really weak. I wouldn’t know okay? The D.A.R.E. program worked for me.)
As for my dress I usually wear maternity tights and put a scarf on. The scarf is an accessory and it paints the illusion that you had time to fuss over your outfit. Truthfully I’ve got about 5 shirts that fit. So, it’s “What shirt is clean?” Wear that. Then pair with scarf. Ta-da! You don’t look haggard. (You, in actuality, do look haggard, but the scarf acts as a distraction from your face, to pull peoples eyes away.)
And so that’s how I am (Or I am not) fooling people into thinking I may not be a hot mess.