Sometimes hipsters do things that make me want to tell them to kiss my shiny Krispy Kreme donut Kim Kardashian butt.
Maybe you’ve heard of “basic &itches”
Urban Dictionary defines a basic b as “just an extra regular female” or the more detailed “someone who is unflinchingly upholding of the status quo and stereotypes of their gender without even realizing it. She engages in typical, unoriginal behaviors, modes of dress, speech, and likes. She is tragically/laughably unaware of her utter lack of specialness and intrigue.”
Some things that may get you in the running for being a basic b are liking pumpkin spice lattes, candles, Taylor Swift, comfortable sweaters, or even shopping at Target. So basically, to sum it up, you are basic if you like things that are universally likable. Hipsters, you have got to take a step back. Just because my sweater was not woven with artisan lamb’s wool imported from the crest of Machu Picchu means nothing. I’m sorry I didn’t get free trade coffee with a locally sourced free range pork back biscuit, but Starbucks has a drive through. Taylor Swift is catchy, candles make my house smell good, and at Target I can get hemorrhoid cream and toddler underwear at the same time.
I guess I’m basic. I guess you find me laughable. I guess I should ironically put mustaches on hard to pronounce fruits and like undiscovered bands. I feel solidly solid in my mediocre but blessed life. #blessed