I’m here to talk about a hot button issue bothering every mother of young babies.


Recently there’s been a push to breastfeed and to breastfeed with no cover in public.  I breastfed for a long time, once with mastitis which had me nursing a baby for 10 months on one boob.  I get it.  I’m committed.  But this breast cover shame?  No thank you.

Listen up mom world.  You can leave my nipples alone.  They’ve been through enough.  Suddenly I’m breastfeeding and my nipples require some grandiose coming out party or debutante ball.  Even man nipples have the capacity to make me uncomfortable depending on the size and proximity (and color).  I want my hooters hidden.  Call me a Puritan, but these nipples are staying caged.  Robed.  Covered up.  Do what you will with yours.  Put tassels on them and breastfeed on the moon.  Let them wear little top hats.  I don’t care.  But don’t shame me because I’d like mine undercover.  Hey moms, guess what?  We don’t have to feel the same thing about everything.  I’m a breastfeeder- and a public one at that.  Imagine!  But, uh, these nipples ain’t ever gonna see the light of day.  Unless my shirt gets caught in a wood chipper.  Or those goggles that x-ray through clothes are invented.  Or if I get sucked into a time warp and come back as Janet Jackson in the 2004 Super Bowl half time show.  #wardrobemalfunction




4 thoughts on “nippy.

  1. This is the best post you’ve ever done! I’m dying!!! (And it’s my second time reading it)
    I whole heartedly agree. I don’t want my nipples out either.
    Plus, where are all these anti-breast feeders??? All these moms are like “let’s gather in a field, expose our nipples in unison to promote breastfeeding!”
    Just chill and do what ya gotta do.

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