10 things that suck about being perpetually hot as a woman.

Girls are always cold.  And quite frankly, you all disgust me.

Here are the top 10 things that suck about being a perpetually hot woman.

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10.  Rage.  People in notoriously hot cities commit more violent crimes.  So, summertime rolls around, I’m feeling kind of murder-y.  I’m SO HOT!

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9.  The constant refrain “It’s too darn hot.  It’s too darn hot!”  Running through your brain.  Musicals.  There’s a refrain for everything.

8.  Pit Stains.  I see you over there shivering.  Too bad for you, I just sweat through my extra strength antiperspirant.

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7.  Scarves.  I love scarves.  I am RARELY cool enough to want some extra fabric draped around my neck.  So I sweat.  I sweat for fashion.

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6.  Jealousy.  I see you over there wearing your uggs because it’s 70 degrees.  (side eye)

5.  The question “Do you need a blanket?  It’s cold in here right?”  No.  No, it’s really not.

4.  Femininity.  It’s kind of manly to be a sweat ball.  I’d like to be dainty and cold with terrible circulation.  But I’m not.  I’m apparently full to the brim with testosterone.  Hulkin’ out because it hit 80.

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3.  Cardigans.  This cardigan is so cute, but I’m so hot… but now I can’t take it off.  (See pit stains)

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2.  Have I talked about being sweaty yet?  I guess 10 was ambitious huh?

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1.  Pregnancy.  As if I wasn’t hot enough before.

** all gifs from giphy.com

 

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