Girls are always cold. And quite frankly, you all disgust me.
Here are the top 10 things that suck about being a perpetually hot woman.
10. Rage. People in notoriously hot cities commit more violent crimes. So, summertime rolls around, I’m feeling kind of murder-y. I’m SO HOT!
9. The constant refrain “It’s too darn hot. It’s too darn hot!” Running through your brain. Musicals. There’s a refrain for everything.
8. Pit Stains. I see you over there shivering. Too bad for you, I just sweat through my extra strength antiperspirant.
7. Scarves. I love scarves. I am RARELY cool enough to want some extra fabric draped around my neck. So I sweat. I sweat for fashion.
6. Jealousy. I see you over there wearing your uggs because it’s 70 degrees. (side eye)
5. The question “Do you need a blanket? It’s cold in here right?” No. No, it’s really not.
4. Femininity. It’s kind of manly to be a sweat ball. I’d like to be dainty and cold with terrible circulation. But I’m not. I’m apparently full to the brim with testosterone. Hulkin’ out because it hit 80.
3. Cardigans. This cardigan is so cute, but I’m so hot… but now I can’t take it off. (See pit stains)
2. Have I talked about being sweaty yet? I guess 10 was ambitious huh?
1. Pregnancy. As if I wasn’t hot enough before.
** all gifs from giphy.com