the pits.

The ways that Pinterest is distorting reality are vast and many, but I’ve got to call out one idea that’s got parents excited.

The playroom ball pit.


I know you are excited about getting furniture to decorate the playroom, especially after the artist who painted your contracted woodland mural is all finished up.

Right.  It’s just that, have these people ever met a toddler?  Here’s a picture of what toddlers and babies will supposedly do in the ball pit.


That’s a baby, sitting calmly in the ball pit and contemplating life.  (side eye emoji)  The moms posting about these pits have used words such as “tactile” and “motor skill development” but I notice no one said “royal pain in the ass.”

Do you know how long it would take Owen and Maisy to completely empty this ball pit onto the floor and spread the balls into every subsequent room in the house?  How every piece of furniture would have a ball underneath it?  How I would find ball pit balls in laundry baskets, trash cans, and probably even the garbage disposal?  I can see them getting thrown out of the ball pit then jumped on, flattening them.  I can see the dog starting to filch some so then I’d find sharp pieces of plastic around the house and a ball of shame corner in the dog crate.  I can see Owen throwing them at his sister’s head.  I can see Owen throwing them at prized vases and collectibles knocking them off the shelves and shattering them.  Owen is not that bad.  He’s fairly well behaved, but introduce him to a pit of balls in his own home?  I can see the headlines now- Terror reigns at Quidditch World Cup.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, unless you have a robot ball picker upper- then this toy would be, literally, the pits.


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