CAUTION ALL MEN. YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE CAUSED TO STUMBLE.
Right after I took this photo, I was discovered by Ford Models and my glamorous international modeling career began!
Okay, but really. Before I had many babies, I wore skimpy bikinis. Side boob? Not worried about it. I didn’t have a lot of real estate. I had small perky boobs. They were so great.
Meanwhile, I tried to wear a tankini with no underwire to the beach and the results were HORRIFYING! HORRIFYING!!!! So, I’m in the market for a mom bathing suit. Spandex and my saggy kanga-pouch do not a dream team make. So, loose fitting is a must. I found these horrific creations on Lands End. It was a weird feeling as looked at them. My inner Regina George was like “These are so not fetch.” I smirked and laughed. But then my body was like “I don’t know Kaley, that could really work on your postpartum self” My boobs were like “Hey, that one has underwire!” Then my thighs chimed in and pointed out the skirt. “That could be really good for us Kaley. Especially if that’s a skort.”
Then my inner youth leader whispered in my ear and said “This one.”
Then I said- I draw the line at ice skating costumes as beach wear. I’m not a strong swimmer. I would die in that skirt. I don’t think Jesus wanted me to take modesty to the point of drowning.