sitcom characters i’d like to be my spirit animals.

A lot of my best friends are leads on sitcoms.  I realize how sad and depressing that sounds, unless I’m reaching my base audience of lonely mothers of infants and toddlers and/or lonely fathers of infants and toddlers, in which case they would say “word.”

I get carried away and like to think I’m like these characters, or at least, I covet some of their base character traits.

Firstly, Jess.  Jessica Day?  New Girl.  She’s quirky and rocks those bangs and is a teacher and wears peter pan collars.  Jessica Day is a lot less mean than me and also has a better singing voice.  I do however feel I share a certain quirkiness with her and also similar hair.

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Who’s that girl?  ….It’s Kaley!!  I mean Jess.

Then there’s Mindy.  What I really like about Mindy is that she’s unapologetically shallow and uses pop culture references with the frequency and reverence which I feel they deserve.   She is also self deprecating and loves donuts.  Two things I am too.  If loving donuts is a thing.  It is.  It must be.  Not like it must be!  Like, it must be.

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Let me surprise you with this one.  Gina from Brooklyn Nine Nine.  She has mad comedic dance skills, which I also have, but have a hard time finding appropriate venues to express them in.  And then, I wish I had her unerring confidence.  Also, she speaks emoji which is sort of a pipe dream of mine.

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Finally, a curve ball.  My inner mean girl loves me some Claire Underwood.  She’s evil and well dressed.  Everything else about her I hate and it sickens me, but there’s something about a woman who cooly glances at the TV News at a murder her husband may have orchestrated, then calmly turns back to the vanity to apply her powder, that’s a lady.  I envy her calm under pressure.  And ability to pull off the peplum dress trend.  You go Claire!  You hateful, terrible, just so so bad person.

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