fraudulent.

I feel like a fraud a lot.  One reason is because I used to look like this:

IMG_0001

And now I look like this:

IMG_1094

Can someone just follow me around and take candid albeit flattering photos of me to use for illustrative blog purposes?  

So I guess I’m just wondering, is this how it looks when someone puts the proverbial lipstick on a pig?  Am I fooling anyone? Or is everyone’s time to shine their late 20’s?  Just nod if you can hear me? Is there anyone at all?  I felt like a Pink Floyd song so I went there.

It feels like I either embrace the mess and wear pajamas (black yoga pants) or I man up and get dressed to the nines everyday.  So I decided to get dressed and accessorized every day.  Does this make me an appearance perfectionist?  But what if I do look like a mess, but it’s clear I tried hard.  That’s a little embarrassing right?  What’s the opposite of “nailed it!”?

I guess the point of my post is this.  Can you ever overcome being such a giant dork in middle school?  (and high school)  I think not.  I think the little dork in you stays there and pops out to say hello when you’re talking to genuinely cool people.  It’s like “Hey, I’m Kaley, I’m wearing shooties and an infinity scarf woven from sustainable bamboo”  and the cool person is like “I was just telling everyone this really interesting and witty story and I’m doing it effortlessly” and then I say “Blah blah blah, something about Harry Potter, I’m so sweaty.”  And then I say “Dammit Middle School Kaley!  How dare you come out here!  I was almost killing it!”

I swear I’m not crazy.  Alright, Imma little crazy.

Advertisements

One thought on “fraudulent.

  1. I hear that. I meet fun people in these fun cities and they’re all like “lets share fun stories over fun drinks at that fun patio restaurant!” And in the middle of the fun story, I drop a comment about how I’m afraid the new star wars is going to be even worse than the other new ones or how awesome it is that scientists have discovered the smallest known star, and conversation comes to a screeching halt. And everyone knows I’m not really cool.

    I miss you, friend. You already know I’m not cool, so it’s no pressure.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s