short. not jorts.

shorttall

I’m pretty short.  In every adult situation where we have had to line up from shortest to tallest, I have always victoriously emerged as the shortest adult in the room.  I’m five feet.  Even.  60 inches.  I’m in the bottom 5% of adults for height, so yes, there are adults shorter than me, but they are hard to come by.

Still, many many times I have heard “I didn’t think you were that short”  “You don’t seem short”  “You can’t be that short!”  I’ve heard it enough that I find myself trying to decide what it means.  (Because who doesn’t replay conversations in their head for hours, scrutinizing every word for deeper meaning??)  Do they simply feel bad that I’m short and they are lying?  “Gah, she’s a munchkin!  Be cool... No!  You don’t seem short!”  Being short is part of my identity that I’m actually okay with, in fact it’s part of the four buzzwords I use to describe myself- crazy, sexy, cool, short.

n-MINDY-PROJECT-KEVIN-SMITH-131015-large

“Excuse me sir, I am a petite Asian woman.”  

Then it’s like, if they are being sincere, why don’t I seem short?  I am.  There’s no denying that.  Maybe they themselves are in the short range? 5’2-5’3.  So, to them I really don’t seem short.  Is it my big personality?  I’m forever nervous that it’s my giant pancake hands.  I’m not like a petite short person.  I’m like if a buffalo stopped growing.  I know I am petite because petite sized clothes fit me although who those XXXSP sizes are for in The Loft, I do not know.

Here are some things that are hard about being short:

  • Reaching things: Sometimes I’m straight up mountain climbing in the grocery store.  Or to get a mug.
  • Seeing things: Since Nick is a foot taller than me, he sometimes put things on shelves that are above my sight range.  I found a gum wrapper today because I was standing on a chair.  Once, when Nick had been gone for months, my friend found an apple in a fruit bowl on our counter.  I didn’t know it was there, because I was too short to see in it.
  • I get lost in stores a lot because I can’t see over the clothes racks.
  • It looks like a ghost is driving my car from behind, you can’t see my head or shoulders.
  • My feet don’t touch the floor when I’m sitting in chairs.  This happens often.
  • Specialty jeans never come in petite measurements.  Sorry distressed boyfriend jeans.  You’re only for those of average height.
  • That high waisted skirt trend?  Reminds me of my short middle school social studies teacher who tucked in her shirts… just under her boobs.  There’s not a lot of real estate on this torso.
  • I look up people’s noses.  A lot.

Once again buzzfeed has out funnied me.  I had a feeling they had done a post on being short, so here it is.

Short people hashtags.  

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