This one is for all of my creepy stalker friends who don’t really know me or they knew me kind of or they know me through someone.
First off, thank you. For reading my blog. Oh my gosh thank you so much.
Secondly, if I meet you in the future you HAVE to tell me you read this blog. I’m not above recycling stories I’ve told on the internet. So, don’t embarrass me. Confess.
Thirdly, If and when you do tell me you read this blog, chances are our encounter will be terribly awkward. I don’t know how to manage your expectations and am now stress sweating while my mind races wildly in crazy directions. Still though, tell me. I should know. It’s my right.
Fourthly, I will write as I speak and I don’t want you to be taking me the wrong way. So I’ve recorded a lame. a$$. video of myself talking so you can see me in my natural habitat. Plus you can count how many times I blinked to get my side bang out of my eye ball.
This is a long, rambling video of myself, but I would encourage you to watch it even though I’m pretty sure I black out in the middle and don’t speak for 10 seconds. I couldn’t go into sales right? I’d be like “Yeah, this car sucks and it’s really expensive. I guess it would be pretty dumb to buy it. Thanks for stopping by!”