farts.

We’ve all been in a situation with a new friend that’s ended in a fart.  It could happen at anytime.  A quick cross of your leg, a stomp, a laugh.  Then a fart eeks out.  If you’re extra unlucky, the fart bursts out of you like some sort of alien monstrosity.  Sometimes it’s so loud you think “Did I just fart in Hi-Def?!”  You kind of hope your friend is like “You just farted!” and then you’d be like:

amber-amy-poehler-636

Yeah.  I farted!  Jealous??

But your new friend says nothing and you’re afraid they’ll be grossed out if you ‘fess up so you just hope really hard that they didn’t hear it.  (Oh they heard it)

My favorite friends are the ones where you establish your unreliable bowels pretty early on.  I like to segway with my lactose intolerance.  Sometimes I’m just straight up dropping truth bombs “I’m going to your bathroom to clog it.  I’m going to be gone for 45 minutes.  Don’t be weird when I get back.”

So, yeah, farts.  Embarrassing, but 100% funny.

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