I’d like to take a moment and offend every Marylander I know.  I myself am a Marylander, born and raised for 22 years before moving away.

Where do I start?  I first noticed this problem that Marylanders have when I arrived in San Diego, the land of no weather, of cloudless blue skies and 70 degrees.  Then I really noticed in Mississippi where I hated the weather and so became obsessed with everyone else who was having better weather than I was.

Maryland.  Four seasons.  Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer.  Get this.  It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter and it rains in the spring.  And sometimes it warms up in the winter for a day or two and sometimes it gets cold again in the spring.  Sometimes it Thunderstorms.  There are even snow days and ice and mini hurricanes and something called a Derecho.  It’s a land of weather.  Weather happens here.

Even though weather continues to happen to Maryland, year in and year out, people are continually bewildered and outraged by it.  According to social media.  “It was cold today!”  “Oh my gosh the temperature on my car says it’s 200 degrees out!”  “It’s more humid here in the summer than anywhere else, including places in the South that are scientifically proven to be more humid because of science!”

Here’s the thing.  Unless you can live in Southern California, than Maryland is the next best.  It has all the seasons, all the weather.  You get to be cold!  Yay!  (coming from someone who lived in her personal seventh level of hell in the humid swamp for two years)  You get to be warm and go swimming!  Yay!  You even get to have some perfect weather for a couple weeks in the spring and fall.  May and June?  Perfection.  October?  Win win.

So, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.  It’s part of the fall out of being a giant butthole.  Wink!


One thought on “weather.

  1. I found myself telling someone the other day that Maryland is just as hot and humid in the summer as Texas. And then I listened to myself and was like wait, um no, that’s a lie. Because Austin had OVER A MONTH of 100+ degree days straight last summer. But then I was all like…but Maryland is still better. Whatevs.

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