I think my girl Kimmy K (that’s Kim Kardashian for you loooosers who have better things to do with your lives than follow Kimmy K on Instagram) has recently come under fire for editing her selfies.
Lucky for you I happen to be in possession of an embarrassing selfie I took and sent to my mom (what? you guys don’t send your mom selfies on the reg?) and a premium subscription to pic monkey dot com.
So many things I wanted to do. I changed my eye color, put on mascara, darkened my eyebrows, brightened my blush, whitened my teeth, bronzed myself, and made myself look 25 % thinner (I don’t think the thinner thing worked. Time to get back on the wagon!!). Oh, and I added Nina Dobrev’s magenta highlight from the Vampire Diaries. Just to see. Haut.
Here I am! I kind of look like:
This next point only loosely ties into my blog post thesis, but imma stick it in anyway. I love following celebrities on Instagram for the following reasons. 1. They post at night because of the time difference between the East and West Coast. 2. Weird strangers and fans comment on their pages. Mean, nice, psychotic, desperate comments. With lots of emojis. 3. I’m addicted to following celebrities lives. It’s creepy, but there it is. You might be wondering who I follow. I’ll tell you, I have no shame. Taylor Swift, Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, Mindy Kaling, Jake Johnson (Nick Miller), Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez. If you can think of any Celebs on Instagram you follow that you enjoy then BY ALL MEANS, tell me in the comment feed. I need more.
People write horrible and scathing things on Kim Kardashian’s photos. Like low, low blows. Just gross and mean. Meanwhile, here is the meanest comment I’ve seen on Taylor’s.
“These are cookies?! I thought those are cakes you failed in baking…” I know right? A cookie that looks like a cake?! She’s terrible!
12 year olds need to step up their game. Also, that cookie looks delicious, so you’re wrong 12 year old. Wrong.