on why I feel bad for every new mom who ever had the misfortune of posting on facebook.

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I commemorated our outing alone with this poor quality parking garage selfie.

I recently got to take Maisy to her Well Baby check up alone due to kindnesses paid to me by my angel friend.  I was an undercover “mom of one.”  The mom culture is a culture of one upping.  Constantly.  Giving unwanted advice, judging, and trying to be a know it all.  Not all of us are like that, but there are quite a few out there.  I heard the mom of a four month old baby say to a mom of a one week old baby “Still not sleeping?   I remember those days!”  Uh… those days?  You mean, like a week ago?  Meanwhile, I slung Maisy Jo around with wild abandon.  I didn’t even bring a stroller to this appointment.  I wore her.  I know.  Crazy.  I contemplated letting her roll around on the floor while I filled out my paperwork, but, you know, germs and stuff.  As a mom of two, I’ve practically got a doctorate in baby raising.  Moms of three or more could and should probably just run countries and be in charge of other complicated matters/institutions.

New moms are in for the shock of a lifetime.  They’ve been blissfully unaware that everyone they know is the absolute worst.  They don’t yet know that, to quote my mother, “Opinions are like hinnie holes, everybody has them.”  My mom was way too PC back then to drop a “butthole.”  I’m so fancy, I made these face FB posts for you!

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Sometimes these things can happen to you even when you least expect it.  Like when I posted a photo of my newborn coming home, someone informed me I could buy cuddly things for his head to rest on.  Woops.  Bad mom alert!  What kind of mother would let her precious baby ride home with his neck lolling around on his scratchy ass car seat?  (I guess I’m still bad, because I have no idea what those things are called)

Then you learn.  You learn what you can and cannot post, what will and will not elicit advice.  I happen to be an expert at not eliciting advice from people.  If any of you moms out there need less advice, come to me, I’ll advise you on avoiding advice.  And alliteration.

I guess my point is that I feel bad for moms who get off the wall comments when they are just innocently posting on social media.  (Look at this cute newborn outfit!  Your baby is going to grow out of that so fast!) Which is why I always post something funny or encouraging on any pregnant/mom status that someone writes something straight up dumb on.

This has been a public service announcement.  Think before you Facebook.  Moms are sensitive.  Be nice.

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5 thoughts on “on why I feel bad for every new mom who ever had the misfortune of posting on facebook.

  1. Oh you’re posting baby selfies on your blog? That is such a faux pas. When *I* have a child, there will be no such selfies. Or there will be twice as many. Whichever is the more PC thing to do. Message me if you’d like my advice on these matters…

  2. You are hilarious and so true! (However I always feel paranoid when I read stuff like this bc I’m like …”have I done that?” 😬)
    You’re right though. “Experienced” moms are the worst. We all need to have a little more grace. Most moms are trying to do their best at the hardest thing they’ve ever done. Plus it’s hard to judge sometimes whether certain baby accessories are necessary or just marketing ploys. Just so you know, I think you’re super mom!..especially with Nick away so much!
    P.s. Your blog is seriously one of the highlights of my day!
    Xoxo Amanda

  3. I love this because I seem to be magnet for unwanted mom advice/”one-uppers.” For example, a few months ago I had 2 people (on separate occasions) tell me I was suffocating my baby because I had him in the Ergo with the hood up! What?! I was going to ramble on about all of the benefits of baby wearing and how in cultures where baby wearing is a constant, they don’t have a word equivalent to “colic” … But I didn’t. Then when I was at a baseball game a couple weeks ago, a super-mom was chasing her 2 daughters around and looked up and said, “oh I remember the days when my girls fit into a carrier. Enjoy the relaxation now because it gets so much harder!” She said it like I was on vacation. I just smiled and nodded, instead of saying “Yes, I’m well aware of what life is like as the mom of a toddler since I have one! And your other daughter looks like she’s only a few months older than my baby so I’m sure you can put her in a carrier still!” My husband gets mad at me for never speaking up, but I’d rather just let them think they’re better than me while I come up with a million awesome responses in my head!

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