on why I hate my pets.

I’m a cat person.  Perhaps the fact that I dress my cat up in clothes and post the pictures on social media tipped you off to that.

Nick’s a dog person.  I’ve always really disliked dogs.  I have a few theories on why.  I’m short and big dogs jumped on me.  The only dog I had was an old farty English Cocker Spaniel from Brazil named Raul.  (?!)  I’m just not into them.  Okay??

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I decided to get a dog in San Diego to surprise Nick.  At first I really loathed Molly Weasley.  She was a rescue and pooped in the house every day, several times a day.  Then I watched a BUNCH of Cesar Milan episodes, became a Dog Whisperer, took Molly on long walks at the dog park, and decided that I liked Molly.  I used to take her every where with me- since the weather in SD was perfect and she was never in danger of frying in the car.

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Then we got Twinky.  Two weeks before Owen was born.  Because the shelter was trying to break a guinness world record and they gave us a kitten for 5 bucks.  Twinky was the WORST kitten EVER, but I still loved her b/c I’m a cat person.

Now I hate them both.

I’ll tell you why.  Humans trump animals, just about always.  When I’ve changed four poopy diapers in a row and then walk out to dog throw up on the carpet and cat poop in the hallway, it makes me mad.  When the cat eats her 100th pacifier (I’m actually not exaggerating that number) I get a little frustrated.  When the dog wants to interact with me in any way while I’m watching The Vampire Diaries during my 40 minute window of overlapping nap times, I’m like “Step OFF!”

9po-p-8p88p8889ooo67o5i5iii8  <– Blogging while toddler is awake.  He keyboard bombed me while I was on pacifier watch.

I don’t feel bad either.  We rescued both of our pets.  They’d be in the street eating trash if it weren’t for me.  Twinky would have been adopted by a crazy cat lady and would have birthed 10 litters of kittens by now.

So take my advice childless friends.  Don’t get a pet.  Wait ten years until your child can take care of that pet.  I’ve got to go weave a basket to send Molly and Twinky down the Elizabeth River.  It worked for Moses right?

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